8 May

Ray: You can’t help it. I mean, you can’t help the fact that you’re attracted. Not just attracted, but infatuated.

Let’s see: the dictionary defines infatuation as a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration for someone. I guess that’s it. You foolishly like someone that you’re not even with. It’s foolish because you think of them all the time. While you’re at work, in class, at home, before you go to bed, and when you wake up. You barely even know this person, but you do know that you want nothing more than to be with this person.

What’s worse is that you don’t even know how they feel about you. You don’t know if you have a chance or not. You don’t know if this person is right or wrong for you, but right now, you don’t care. The question is, what are you going to do about it?

In my eyes, life is short. For you, there are no right or wrong answers. Either way, you’re going to decide to make a move or not make a move. If you don’t make a move, then you’re playing it safe. You’re avoiding the possibility of rejection, but at what cost? On the contrary, if you do make a move then everything that happens next is out of your control.

They say it’s not about win or lose, it’s how you play the game. If that’s the case then don’t be afraid to play the game. How often do you find someone that you’re this attracted to? How often are you in a position to do something about it? Obviously, I’m suggesting that you go for it. So here’s what you do:

Dress nice. Go shopping if you have to, but make sure that you’re wearing something that makes you feel comfortable and confident. Smell good, brush your teeth, think positive thoughts, and make your approach. It might sound cliché, but be yourself. You have nothing to lose except for the opportunity to be with the person you’ve wondered about for so long. So go for it.

Who knows? This might be the person you spend the rest of your life with. Or, this could be a person who turns out to be a great friend. And in the worst case scenario, it’s just another jerk out there in the world that you don’t need to spend another second thinking about. But until you make that move, you’ll just be an unknown and insignificant admirer. You’ll just be… infatuated.


3 Responses to “Infatuated”

  1. Ericalane.B May 8, 2008 at 4:57 pm #

    Ray, My friend, is this article directed toward women as well? If so, welcome to the post-feminist era where women don’t just want to be equal in the workplace. We want to be the best, with that superwoman complex, that competitive edge, spills over into other parts of our lives as well—in the gym, at the mall (”Can you believe I found this pair of Prada pumps for only $50?!”)…lol.. and definitely in the bedroom. While the female gender has undergone so many evolutions in society, one would think we would be as aggressive in our dating life as we are in every other aspect of our life. Admiring from a distance for us women can sometimes be fun. Despite the aggression we display in other facets, we tend to shy away from being the initiators in dating. Reason being,” Rejection”. So my friend, Ray, does your make the move / play the game suggestion apply to everyone? How would women be perceived if we started making all the movies? In my opinion and I think you know this Ray, women should never truly make the moves. When it comes to dating, there’s no doubt that making the first move is nerve-wracking, which is why men should be the one with the wracking nerves. To this day I still believe most women are emotionally imbalanced and couldn’t handle a simple rejection.. Not to say that there aren’t women that can handle it, I’m simply saying that we were not built for to many rejections. Woman are sensitive and sometimes insecure and we don’t need to add to our problems or come off as On the other hand disparate. I agree with putting your feelings into action instead of admiring from a distance. One shouldn’t get to caught up in being smitten with anyone that has yet to assure a date

  2. sethandray May 8, 2008 at 5:05 pm #

    What? That’s hogwash. Everyone deals with rejection in some form or another. Rejection is not something reserved for men alone. I seriously doubt that many women would agree with you about not being able to handle rejection. That has nothing to do with genetics. That’s an issue of self confidence…

  3. DMendoza May 10, 2008 at 1:08 pm #

    I agree with some parts of her argument but not all. speaking as a dually perceived–external and internal strong woman, rejection is a daily adversity that one must adapt to. this phenomenon doesn’t isolate itself to the pre-conditions of courting…it can occur unexpectantly when a person is thoroughly engrosed within a relationship as well. how or when rejection plays out, ultimately this leads an individual to discover what we do or don’t desire in a counterpart… we must broaden our scope and not let those traditional ideas continue that to promote gender complacency in dating to get in the way. if deem yourself to be a “go getter”, you should naturally display aspects of that behavior in all areas of your life. no matter if you are male or female.

    as you can see, I never was a fan of that socially held rule of what’s required of a guy relative to a girl…

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